Real friends are some of the things that make life worth living. We all know that without proper friendships, life is a lot harder. But do you know what’s worse than having no friends? Fake friends. They don’t celebrate your achievements, ignore your needs, and even worse.
1. They Don’t Celebrate Your Achievements
They don’t celebrate your achievements. I remember when I told my best friend about a new job I got, he was happier about it than I was.
True friends should act like this, celebrating your achievements and comforting you in your defeats. Fake friends will not celebrate your achievements.
Why? Jealousy. Research from the University of Toronto suggests that people get anxious when their expectations are not met. If your friend isn’t celebrating with you, they may expect you to be less successful than them.
2. They Insult You to Make Themselves Feel Better
They insult you to make themselves feel better. Do you like being insulted? The answer for all of you will be no. While good friends can get away with gentle and occasionally harsh ribbing, there is a difference between this and insults.
The Mayo Clinic notes that jokes, even jokes at your expense, are beneficial. They release endorphins and reduce short-term stress.
Insults only serve to tear you down, lowering your mood and energy levels. If your friend does this to you frequently, they probably aren’t a true friend.
3. They Always Need Something From You
They always need something from you. This is a big red flag. Ask your friends why they choose to spend time with you. A real friend will do so simply because they enjoy doing so.
They believe spending time with you is intrinsically valuable. A fake friend is not like this. Fake friends want something from your relationship, whether it’s money, popularity, or just some muscle.
They keep you around for practical reasons. While real friends need help from time to time, that’s not the only reason you should spend time together.
4. You Feel Tired After Spending Time With Them
If you’re feeling drained, most people would recommend spending time with friends to recover. According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, spending time with close friends is a fantastic way to avoid mental and physical burnout.
But what if you don’t feel this way? What if, after spending time with someone, you feel exhausted? If this is the case, you may have a fake friend.
Fake friends suck up your energy by criticizing you and other negative behaviors. If you find yourself heading to bed after meeting a friend for coffee, they may not be your friend after all.
5. They Disappear When You Need Them
Think back to the last time you were struggling. Maybe your romantic relationship wasn’t working, or your job was getting you down. In these situations, you can rely on true friends to be there for you.
Fake friends will not be there for you; in fact, they’ll disappear when you need them most. Studies have demonstrated just how devastating this can be.
A paper from Michigan State University found that true friends improved the participants’ health and happiness. However, participants with fake friends dealt with more chronic illnesses.
If you want to stay healthy, you need to prioritize your real friends that will stick with you.
6. They Get Offended When Criticized
Even your best friends can make mistakes. We can all think of times when one of our friends said something that hurt us deeply. What separates a real friend from a fake friend is their reaction.
A real friend will accept when they’re wrong. On the other hand, fake friends will get defensive and try to justify their behavior. In extreme cases, they may even gaslight you by making you question if their offense was even that bad.
If you find yourself with someone like this, the best thing to do is cut them off.
7. They Don’t Change
Unwillingness to change is the root cause of all other issues. Even if your friends have made mistakes, if they’re willing to change, that shows they value your friendship more than their old habits.
What separates a fake friend from a real friend is a complete unwillingness to change. A study from Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences ranks this selfishness as one of the four reasons friendships end. If you know someone like this, your friendship is unlikely to last.
