Narcissistic personality disorder, while only present in about five percent of the general population, is one of the most damaging conditions a parent can have when raising a child.
Consisting of low empathy, an inflated sense of self, and an excessive need for praise, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can cause incredible damage to a child’s mental state.
This damage can follow them even long after they’ve moved away from their narcissistic parents. If you struggle with low self-worth, can’t put your own needs first, or have other damaging beliefs, you may have been raised by a narcissist.
1. I’m Better Than Other People
One of the most common traits in children of narcissists is an inflated sense of self-worth. How this belief forms in children is not yet clear to researchers.
Perhaps it’s a form of mirroring or a coping strategy the child develops. Another theory is that children may develop these traits if their narcissistic parent overvalues their children’s accomplishments, viewing the child’s accomplishments as an extension of themselves.
However this belief comes about, it’s no surprise that children raised by narcissists may inherit or copy some of their bad habits.
These beliefs can make it harder to form meaningful relationships, learn from one’s mistakes, and may even lead to NPD in the child.
2. I Can’t Say “No” Because That’s Selfish
Teaching children how to say no and establish healthy boundaries is one of the central duties of a parent.
By learning how to set these boundaries, children will be able to respect their needs and the needs of others while also keeping themselves safe.
However, healthy boundaries are the last thing a narcissist wants. If a child develops these boundaries, this could negatively affect the narcissist’s inflated sense of self, which is unacceptable to them.
If you weren’t taught or were prohibited from setting healthy boundaries, you may struggle to stand up for yourself as an adult.
If you feel like other people walk all over you, this can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and resentment. Make sure to subscribe.
3. I’m Not Good Enough
Low self-esteem is one of the most damaging beliefs a child can be saddled with if raised by a narcissist.
This belief is associated with a wide variety of mental and physical health issues, including heightened feelings of loneliness, lower academic performance, and an increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse.
Why do the children of narcissists struggle with this belief? Parents with NPD could have frequently ridiculed their children if they didn’t live up to their impossible standards.
This shaming can inhibit a child’s ability to develop any sense of self-worth, which is much more challenging to develop in adulthood.
4. I’m Unable to Contribute Anything
A child raised by a narcissist may feel like they have nothing to add to the world, whether it be in work, a relationship, or even in their own life. Believing that one has nothing to contribute to the world can be disastrous on a personal level.
If a child feels like they have nothing to contribute, they may shy away from career or personal opportunities that could give them a chance to grow, further reinforcing their low self-esteem.
A child may develop this belief because a parent with NPD is unlikely to let a child prioritize their interests. The parent may believe doing so would threaten their inflated sense of self.
As such, a child may believe the only valuable thing they can do is to help the narcissist, a belief they may carry into adulthood.
5. I Need to Stop Being So Sensitive
Children are naturally more emotional than adults. A good parent will accept this and teach their child how to manage their feelings in a healthy way.
However, a parent with NPD may find these feelings annoying more than anything else. Children with narcissistic parents may be frequently told to grow up.
They may bottle up their emotions, which research has shown to be incredibly damaging and can lead to higher stress levels and a weakened immune system.
Unpacking these bottled-up emotions can take a lifetime and is hard to do alone. This is why we recommend onlinetherapy.com.
6. Love is Conditional
Children need unconditional love from their parents. Without it, they’re much more susceptible to mental health issues such as depression, low trust, and an unstable sense of self.
However, children that get unconditional love are given a strong foundation upon which their character can develop. Unfortunately, parents with NPD are unlikely to provide this unconditional love.
Narcissistic parents may be too focused on their success, feel entitled to their child’s love, or expect special treatment to give their child the unconditional love they need.
This lack of unconditional love is one of the most damaging consequences of parents with NPD and is a belief that can stay in a child’s subconscious for years.
7. I Need to Protect Their Reputation
Narcissistic parents teach their children that the parents’ needs should be the center of the child’s world instead of the other way around.
As such, children raised by narcissists are taught to placate their parents’ ego and reputation, regardless of how their parents treat them.
Doing so frequently can make the child believe that lying to save face is a necessary part of life, which can make forming meaningful friendships and romantic relationships next to impossible.
If you like this one, check out our next video on five signs someone grew up with anxiety. Thanks, and we’ll see you soon.
